The New Enemy
It's totally untrue that my role in this Administration has been affected.
I've been involved in evaluating new threats to our country. Just the
other day in Sierra Leone a group of chimpanzees escaped from a
preserve and attacked American tourists. A local man was killed in the
attack. Blame decades of liberal animal-rights organizers mollycoddling
these vicious beasts. Liberal Hollywood movies have perverted our
thinking about these primates. They are our competitors! We need to
show our resolve to the chimpanzee threat worldwide! If we want to
preserve our way of life we'll have to be prepared to bite them back
and pull off THEIR gonads. At the very least we must continue to
destroy their habitats where they learn hatred for the American way of
life. Death to Chimpanzees!
